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Friday, May 20, 2011

Days 4 and 5

On Thursday, I kept thinking all day that it was Friday. It started with a couple free periods of me desperately trying to avoid studying for an anatomy test I had last period. In fact, it seemed that those notes were following me everywhere on Thursday, but I had this strange insistence on not learning the material. I found myself saying hi to more people than usual in the halls, but I also think my self-esteem was a little lower that day.
I feel obligated to mention yearbooks. I have been wavering back and forth between enjoying exchanging the yearbooks and being annoyed. I'm always willing to leave a message and sign if someone asks me, and I appreciate the messages people leave me, but sometimes I think it's too much pressure to sum up a four-year relationship in one corner of a page, or even on an entire page. Does the amount of writing reflect the magnitude of our relationship? When did it become an insult to simply leave a signature? Also, those books are a little too heavy for me to lug around all day. I hope that twenty years from now I won't regret my lack of enthusiasm for book-signing. After all, the tradition's lasted for a while, so it has to be good for something, right?
Thursday night, I slept through my first dance class, so I only went from 7-9, and I left really frustrated because my injured feet are really giving me a hard time. Of course, this isn't a matter of life and death, but I was pretty quick to project my issue into future college studies. I think a lot of stress I'm dealing with right now is just coming from the hope that I have a good college experience. After dance, I fell asleep before finishing my English project and set my alarm early, but it didn't go off Friday morning, so that still has yet to be finished. I also forgot the notes for a death and dying test, but that information was successfully crammed in during the two free periods before the test.
In reflection, I definitely could have and should have gathered information more thoroughly and documented more often - this would have aided me in noticing general behavior patterns. This in itself, however, is a testament to the nature of this week. My original intention was to blog every night before I went to bed, but I instead ended up blogging in the middle of the following day, by which time I had forgotten a lot. We seem to be caught between two  desires: to finish high school strongly, and to just be finished with high school! Hopefully, at graduation, most of us will have realized both.

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